Don't worry. I was the same way; deadstick reentry is the last real thing I learned how to do in orbiter. I also learned this after interplanetary travel.
Well, think of it this way. An angle of attack creates lift. There is a theory that an angle of attach is the only way to create lift (at least it's true in orbiter. Get into a delta glider on the runway, engage full main engines, and don't do anything else like pitch up, and see what happens).
There's only a certain amount of lift that can be created. Also, with this angle of attack comes much more drag. When flying at low speed, you can increase the angle of attack pretty easily. At high speed, even a slight pitch up will increase the drag drastically (drag is based on the square of velocity, so 4 times as fast means 16x more drag), so even a small change in angle of attack creates a LOT of lift and a LOT of drag.
Now, why can't you go from a 0 degree angle of attack to a 40 degree angle of attack? Because remember what a reentry really is, it's a controlled stall. 40 degrees of angle of attack, there's no smooth airflow over the wings. It's very hard to disrupt that smooth flow of air at 0 ish degrees angle of attack and make it stall without going below stalling speed.
What ship are you flying? If it's a DGIV, then yes, it's going to drop like a rock. I suggest not disengaging the reentry autopilot until about 800 m/s, then just let the nose drop until you're flying normally.
I hope this answers your question, I'm not 100% sure what you're asking.