Agreed.
One thing they have going for them is the relative simplicity of their rocket motors. The SSME was so far on the edge of what is capable that is was really, really expensive. Add to that the extensive overhaul (rebuild essentially) of the SSME for it to be flight ready (and thus "reusable"). How much cost went into the maintenance/overhaul of an SSME vs a brand new SSME? (I don't know this myself, but I suspect others here do)
The tank, is well... a tank. Not anything overtly special, but it will required some pretty extensive NDI (non destructive inspection) before they can certify it ok for
x many flights. Hoses, tubing, fuel lines, etc. will also have to be inspected before taking another trip into the black.
I think (and I'm a technician, not an engineer; engineers dream things up but it's the techs that make it work) that if they add all the weight they'd need to be "fully" recoverable (meaning both stages), that the payload capability would drop off to the point that it'd take a Falcon heavy to get a big commsat to GTO, and the "regular" F9 would be relegated to throwing things into LEO.
Of course, they have these grand plans for a bigger engine; I've seen a few graphics with the Falcon with only one engine (a Merlin 2 IIRC).
http://www.spacelaunchreport.com/sls3.html
OK, so that report is out of date, but it shows the direction Elon and company would
like to go. I'm sceptical, I'm a maintenance guy, so I'm always sceptical of engineers (apology to any and all engineers here, but your maintenance guys are sceptics too; ask them, if their answers won't hurt your feelings).
For now, and at least the next 5 years or so, I really don't forsee the level or reusability that was indicated by that (admittedly awesome) video that SpaceX put together. I can see them getting a "soft" water landing, or maybe landing on an island out in the middle of nowhere. What kind of regulations will the FAA dream up for an unmanned pressurised tank of hydrolox (or kerolox, methane, whatever) into a populated area?
I'm also always happy to be proven wrong. I hope Elon and co. achieve everything they strive to do.