Hello!
I have been working on the second novel in the Kylie Wilson arc; the first I intend to release for free - so I have no difficulty discussing the plot of the novel and its details.
The thing is I am stuck - I've written little more than the introduction and I have no idea how to proceed.
I'm going to upload what I have so far.
I'm satisfied with the prologue - there is some rewriting that needs to be done; some conversation is a bit iffy but overall it's pretty good.
My trouble comes in Chapter One: where the reader is transported into the luxury boom-ship Princess Astoria.
I have to establish that Princess Astoria is a luxury vessel; with few people able to afford her fare. I believe I have done this.
I have to establish that Julian Todd - the secondary protagonist - is an eager young dreamer; a security guard with little knowledge or experience; but handsome and with just enough spirit that Kylie takes a particular interest in him.
I have to establish the fact that Kylie is a famous person; famed for her investigative ability. Once she arrives onboard Princess Astoria; she must be able to take control of the situation; cowing the passengers or at least threatening them into submission. And she has to do so right from the beginning - the story starts from Julian's perspective but Kylie is the protagonist; there has to be a way to introduce Kylie and focus upon her as the main character.
The single hardest point right now is dealing with Kylie's fame (or infamy; depending upon your position.)
I have tried to write a suitable beginning to the novel; but I fear I haven't done very well. I need to focus upon Kylie as the major character; from the viewpoint of the secondary protagonist (Julian). I need to emphasise the fact that he is smitten with her; making her subsequent torturing of poor young Julian all the funnier.
But everything I do seems to simply repeat past events. Wilson's actions in the Midnight Rose incident are, of course, detailed in Midnight Rose; the first novel in the series; and the first one intended for sale.
Since Julian loves Kylie because of the Midnight Rose; how do I effectively separate the two novels?
Oy - I'll just upload what I have so far; it will explain much. It's pretty bad, but I don't know how to fix it.
Understand that this is an S-F mystery; so I have to establish the protagonist; the secondary characters and the body FAST.
Please tell me where the story falls apart for you.
EDIT: I forgot to add this; but it's an important point I'm having trouble reconciling. the story starts (in Chapter 1) with Julian straightening his tie in the mirror; just before the Captain's Table Ball - the event which is the source of most of the plot. He's remembering something that happened the day before; where he'd physically assisted a lovely female passenger from unwanted attention. The problem is that that moment is the only piece of action for several chapters. While we might enjoy Wilson's in-your-face approach to a murder investigation; that's the only point where someone hauls off and clobbers someone else. Ideally that should be in the present tense; more fun that way. But starting the story there is far more difficult; I designed the story to revolve around the Captain's Table Ball. What do you think? Rewrite it to be more interesting in past-tense or take the story back 24 hours to put it into the present?
I have been working on the second novel in the Kylie Wilson arc; the first I intend to release for free - so I have no difficulty discussing the plot of the novel and its details.
The thing is I am stuck - I've written little more than the introduction and I have no idea how to proceed.
I'm going to upload what I have so far.
I'm satisfied with the prologue - there is some rewriting that needs to be done; some conversation is a bit iffy but overall it's pretty good.
My trouble comes in Chapter One: where the reader is transported into the luxury boom-ship Princess Astoria.
I have to establish that Princess Astoria is a luxury vessel; with few people able to afford her fare. I believe I have done this.
I have to establish that Julian Todd - the secondary protagonist - is an eager young dreamer; a security guard with little knowledge or experience; but handsome and with just enough spirit that Kylie takes a particular interest in him.
I have to establish the fact that Kylie is a famous person; famed for her investigative ability. Once she arrives onboard Princess Astoria; she must be able to take control of the situation; cowing the passengers or at least threatening them into submission. And she has to do so right from the beginning - the story starts from Julian's perspective but Kylie is the protagonist; there has to be a way to introduce Kylie and focus upon her as the main character.
The single hardest point right now is dealing with Kylie's fame (or infamy; depending upon your position.)
I have tried to write a suitable beginning to the novel; but I fear I haven't done very well. I need to focus upon Kylie as the major character; from the viewpoint of the secondary protagonist (Julian). I need to emphasise the fact that he is smitten with her; making her subsequent torturing of poor young Julian all the funnier.
But everything I do seems to simply repeat past events. Wilson's actions in the Midnight Rose incident are, of course, detailed in Midnight Rose; the first novel in the series; and the first one intended for sale.
Since Julian loves Kylie because of the Midnight Rose; how do I effectively separate the two novels?
Oy - I'll just upload what I have so far; it will explain much. It's pretty bad, but I don't know how to fix it.
Understand that this is an S-F mystery; so I have to establish the protagonist; the secondary characters and the body FAST.
Please tell me where the story falls apart for you.
EDIT: I forgot to add this; but it's an important point I'm having trouble reconciling. the story starts (in Chapter 1) with Julian straightening his tie in the mirror; just before the Captain's Table Ball - the event which is the source of most of the plot. He's remembering something that happened the day before; where he'd physically assisted a lovely female passenger from unwanted attention. The problem is that that moment is the only piece of action for several chapters. While we might enjoy Wilson's in-your-face approach to a murder investigation; that's the only point where someone hauls off and clobbers someone else. Ideally that should be in the present tense; more fun that way. But starting the story there is far more difficult; I designed the story to revolve around the Captain's Table Ball. What do you think? Rewrite it to be more interesting in past-tense or take the story back 24 hours to put it into the present?
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