Non violent communication

[ar81]

Case 4 and 5 are suggesting arrogance.

Arrogance comes when you have seen or known no respect from people.
I noticed that I was far less arrogant before the ugly long episode of harassment I passed when I worked as govt employee for those who are now facing jail for the CCSS-Fischel fraud.

Imagine waking up every day, knowing that you will be poked, you will be a target of hostility for not aligning to fraud, be called to meetings where they say how bad and incompetent you are in front of a board of people, and how they humilliate, insult and vent stress on you because you attach to yourprinciples, because you also know that you can go to jail if you obey.

Imagine you face such a day for months. Months. Very long months.
You spend 1/3 of your day sleeping, 1/3 of your day at work, and the rest is used to eat, travel to and from work, and do anything else you want.

Since I did not know Orbiter, the only thing you could do was to get depressed and think for months how miserable and worthless your life is.

As your contract expired, you applied for another job in the government, in planning, and you end up exactly under a friend of those who harass you, and they do bureaucratic maneuvers to put you out, and you fight with legal means while they continue telling you how bad you perform, how idiot you are.

After expiration of the contract, I had a period when repressed emotions became a pneumonia. You are on your bed and your head aches, you stand up and you feel dizzy, and you can't sleep because of the coughing. As I went to the hospital (later I knew it was the same hospital where my exboss worked) I was diagnosed with flu. I was so bad that I had to expose myself to the air conditioning of the bank and draw money to go and pay medical attention elsewhere. In the end I got a diagnostic and a reference to that same hospital, but now I had a diagnostic. I never felt so good to have those antibiotic drops being attached to my circulatory system... It was my only link to life.
That day at the hospital there was a girl who attempted to commit suicide, while I struggled to stay alive

Then you come to internet and you find people who harass you, poke you, and finally you get warnings and then a ban for a few days. That was why I left the M6 forums back then. At least in my previous job I was paid to tolerate harassment, but at M6 I was not.

Later I published an article (not related to the fraud) in the newspaper which uncovered the whole fraud scheme, so now they fear me. I also went to a conference where people from UK embassy attended, and they talked about the strategic priorities against money laundering. I brought my case, to deliver the message that ethics pays off. I saved my resume and I am not in jail. Unfortunately the collateral damage is now emotional.

So as I see it, arrogance is a minor side effect.
You could say I am crazy. I think anyone would be if he was in my shoes.
Being arrogant is the result of doing your best and getting this message in return...

Nowadays I do not feel a sense of failure anymore, just anger towards them, and that causes lots of anxiety attacks. Fortunately I am not a friend of violence, so my only path is to eventually forgive them.

And you may excuse me some day if I am a bit arrogant. Being arrogant is the least of my problems.

 

[Urwumpe]

And you may excuse me some day if I am a bit arrogant. Being arrogant is the least of my problems.

No further questions... :huh:

(I hope I can stay grounded long enough for ever developing such attitude. I am not good enough in my subjects to allow me even a bit of legal arrogance.)

 

[ar81]

In legal terms there is not too much I can do.
By not aligning with fraudsters, they could not touch the money of the project I was working for, because of some extra moves I did. So project was saved. There is no legal action on that, and project was not questioned, so my resume is clean, project was untouched by illegal ways.

But it came at a high emotional price.

 

[joeybigO]

You did what was right, and not with the conformity of society (around you). They mocked you and told you what an idiot you were. Hmmmm.... sounds like were back in High School. Just because you didn't dress like them, wear your hair like them, ohhhh... launder money like them, they turned you into the bad guy, just for doing the right thing.

Sounds like another story, of this guy who was ridiculed, persecuted, almost sent to jail, but ultimately killed over what he believed in. That man is in a the most widely read book in all of the world. I think you can figure out who the man was.

But at the same time, doing the right thing isn't always easy.

 

[ar81]

I had no other way than to act as I did.
had I done something different and I would be in jail with those guys.
I try to make the worst to become the best.

I code to vent anxiety.
I am not insane because coding helps me to rearrange and organize my brain with structured thinking.
Else I would have been probably a nut case.

Computer games help me to tune myself in a different frequency.
It is like taking a virtual and cheap vacation.

Anger turned me into an auditor-activist in this country.
The funny thing is that during such "auditing" to make this world better I met several people.
I have met ministers, journalists and ambassadors, people you usually see on national TV or papers.

But you see me and I work in a desk like hundreds of others, like another brick on the wall, and I make less money than a minimum wage in US.
I do not even have a car... I am not famous... I can barely pay my bills...

I came to think that I became an auditor-activist as a preventive measure, so politicians of my country let me live my ordinary life in peace.
Is it so much to ask?

On a side note, I noticed that many people who have stepped on others were not that "important".
You see people in important positions being great people, while other not so important people step on others.
I recall another exboss who had the habit of stepping on his secretary's selfesteem.

What is certain is that those fraudsters will have a shadow watching over their shoulder.
And auditor shadow.
I discovered that politicians of a country are like a CEO, and you are a shareholder-auditor.
If you are a good auditor, yo will be able to push to put things back on track, even if you are an ordinary person like me.

But I believe now it s a good time for me to learn about non violent communication.
There is no good in making a better world if you do not have friends to share.

 

[simonpro]

Sounds like another story, of this guy who was ridiculed, persecuted, almost sent to jail, but ultimately killed over what he believed in. That man is in a the most widely read book in all of the world. I think you can figure out who the man was.

Gustav Graves?

 

[Ghostrider]

Gustav Graves?

Time to face gravity.