Ghostrider
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BREAKING NEWS: Doomsayers have been predicting end-of-the-world scenarios with the entire Earth and perhaps the whole Solar System being swallowed into an artificial black hole created at the LHC facility at CERN, but nothing could have foreseen the exact opposite happening.
One day after the record-shattering 7 TeV beam collisions that set a new standard for particle-physics research, an anomaly has been detected withing the complex that has been described by scientists as a "black hole in reverse", causing energy to emerge from what appears to be a universe parallel to our own.
"It's difficult to really understand what's on the other side because we're dealing with a one-way Einstein-Rosen Bridge, something physics has only theorized about until now." one researcher stated.
Apparently the anomaly only works one way, precluding two-way communications with what lies beyond it, but the information coming through has been promptly identified and analyzed.
"It's just standard Wi-Fi signals, coming in pretty clear which is amazing. Looks like we're getting signals from our own reality, with some little differences. For once, they've got fast broadband WiMAX but you could run a Google search through it and you wouldn't be able to spot the differences."
However, some differences do exist and this has caused widespread panic throughout the media industry. "Basically, copyright laws are very different on the other side and everything seems to be available online." a technician said. "Download speeds are incredibly fast. It makes DSL look like 300 baud acoustic couplers."
"This cannot be allowed to continue." was the immediate response of a prominent media industry lawyer. "Clearly, copyright laws apply to all the Universe and all alternate dimensions." He also stated that a Cease & Desist letter was being sent to CERN in order to have the LHC immediately closed down and dismantled.
"We'll be prosecuting the whole science team for aiding and abetting in copyright violation. Make no mistake, we're ready to have a ban enforced on all particle physics research throughout the whole world. The media industry has been supplying the public with quality entertainment for decades and this dangerous discovery puts the livelihood of millions or artists at risk. You have to ask yourself: what has science ever done for you? Society must make a choice, and we're confident that choice will be on the side of the industry."
The LHC staff however doesn't seem worried about legal threats. "Ye canna change the laws of physics" a Scottish engineer remarked. "Besides I can only see advantages in this new discovery: in the parallel universe at least, Nickelback songs don't suck."
One day after the record-shattering 7 TeV beam collisions that set a new standard for particle-physics research, an anomaly has been detected withing the complex that has been described by scientists as a "black hole in reverse", causing energy to emerge from what appears to be a universe parallel to our own.
"It's difficult to really understand what's on the other side because we're dealing with a one-way Einstein-Rosen Bridge, something physics has only theorized about until now." one researcher stated.
Apparently the anomaly only works one way, precluding two-way communications with what lies beyond it, but the information coming through has been promptly identified and analyzed.
"It's just standard Wi-Fi signals, coming in pretty clear which is amazing. Looks like we're getting signals from our own reality, with some little differences. For once, they've got fast broadband WiMAX but you could run a Google search through it and you wouldn't be able to spot the differences."
However, some differences do exist and this has caused widespread panic throughout the media industry. "Basically, copyright laws are very different on the other side and everything seems to be available online." a technician said. "Download speeds are incredibly fast. It makes DSL look like 300 baud acoustic couplers."
"This cannot be allowed to continue." was the immediate response of a prominent media industry lawyer. "Clearly, copyright laws apply to all the Universe and all alternate dimensions." He also stated that a Cease & Desist letter was being sent to CERN in order to have the LHC immediately closed down and dismantled.
"We'll be prosecuting the whole science team for aiding and abetting in copyright violation. Make no mistake, we're ready to have a ban enforced on all particle physics research throughout the whole world. The media industry has been supplying the public with quality entertainment for decades and this dangerous discovery puts the livelihood of millions or artists at risk. You have to ask yourself: what has science ever done for you? Society must make a choice, and we're confident that choice will be on the side of the industry."
The LHC staff however doesn't seem worried about legal threats. "Ye canna change the laws of physics" a Scottish engineer remarked. "Besides I can only see advantages in this new discovery: in the parallel universe at least, Nickelback songs don't suck."
