Question Prom: Asking a girl

[MJR]

All it is is courage. This is when you be a man and face your "fears." Believe me, you'll probably get a yes.

 

[MAraujo]

This is too good... its like watching TV. I cant wait to see what happens!

 

[simonpro]

Tomorrow, I'll see what people she's talking to, and then strike up a conversation with them, and attempt to find out if she has a boyfriend/significant other.

I wouldn't bother with that. It seems like you're just avoiding asking her out. She'd probably be much more flattered if you asked her directly rather than bothering about trying to get info out her friends first.

If not, then i'll ask if they know if she likes me.

Same with this.

If yes, I'll then ask her to stay a little bit after Math class, and ask her out to laser tag/dinner sometime. If she says yes, I'll ask for her number.
Later, i'll call her and try to plan out a date and time we can go to Laser tag and the dinner. Then, i'll gauge her reaction/enjoyment for both of the "Events". If she seemed to enjoy it, i'll ask her to prom with some flowers.

Not sure laser tag is the best, it's better for a first date to go somewhere fun, but where you can spend the time talking. One of the best first dates I ever had was going kayaking together, for instance. (wasn't my idea, though )

Best of luck though, it's always exciting to ask someone out. Even more exciting when they say yes.

 

[Ghostrider]

Tomorrow, I'll see what people she's talking to, and then strike up a conversation with them, and attempt to find out if she has a boyfriend/significant other.

No, don't. Go to her directly, if you try to dig out info you don't need about her she's bound to find it out and chances are she won't like it. You only have to ask her out, the worst possible outcome is that she says "not", you're not getting shot.

 

[ar81]

One word of advise. Girls can detect if you are nervous.
Being nervous sends a message like "he feels very tense because of me, I better stay away not to annoy him anymore".

Just do not scare her away. Things will go fine, no matter what you say, if you do not scare her.

Be direct. Ask her as if you were asking something to someone from your family, just that natural. Being indirect would scare her away.

If she says no, some other day you may talk about something different and you may find other things she likes, and then invite her to date, and she might change her mind, but do not make her feel stalked.

 

[Krys]

I'm agreeing with Simonpro on this one. Don't ask her friends, hell don't even approach her friends, there is no point. My friends hardly ever knew who I actually liked.

Oh and one last thing: Just Ask Her. Do Not Wait.

Honestly the most annoying thing is waiting, and if you continue waiting you are more likely to talk yourself out of it.

 

[dbeachy1]

I'm agreeing with Simonpro on this one. Don't ask her friends, hell don't even approach her friends, there is no point.

+1 to that. To reiterate the 'confidence' point made earlier, females are attracted to Alpha Males -- it's built-in to their genetics. Alpha males don't ask her friends about her first (she's sure to find out) -- just chat with her a bit and then ask her (although it's best to ask her when others aren't listening in for reasons previously stated in this thread). If she says no, then move on and ask some other girl the next day. Don't obsess over any one girl, because I can promise you the more you obsess the faster she'll run away.

It's OK to be nervous (most guys are), but don't show it. Just keep telling yourself that you'll just ask someone else if she says no. Don't dwell on it and don't obsess over it. It gets a lot easier with practice, so don't get stuck obsessing over a girl if she turns you down. Remember that it's her loss.

Don't keep putting it off -- just do it! I promise you'll feel better either way after you ask: either she'll say yes, or she'll say no. Either way you won't be worried about asking her anymore.

 

[V8Li]

Can't you just spend some time around her? See what she's like, talk to her, get to know her... I mean, if you go to a girl in a club and ask her to dance with you she'll say yes, have a great night togheter and never see her again. But this is different since you'll see her again afterwards, regardless if she sais yes or no. And I mean it's just stupid to go to her and ask her if you've only talked to her for like 5 seconds before (unless that's how you do things there). And if you do it when there are others around... what can you expect? She'll be overwhelmed and try to get out of it, most likely saying no.

PS: Don't take my advice if:
- you're the hotest guy (you know, football team, Viper or Corvette or whatever is an advantage in that culture of yours) in school and every girl wants you
- she's a you-know-what
If either just go to her, ask her and she'll just say yes, that's how it works!!!

 

[Vanguard]

After reading all these posts, I think everyone here needs to go and pickup a copy of "Hitch" with Will Smith... seriously...

I'm all in for the encouragement and I wish you the best, but I'm a little struck by the fact that you're asking a girl to the prom that you're not even sure likes you or not and you know nothing about her. Knowing whether she has a boyfriend or not would be the first indicator as to whether you know this person at all.

So, judging by the fact your asking this girl out due to her vanity, nice ass or rack, or all three, it doesn't really matter, most girls (help me out here, I know your reading this) would at least like an indicator signal and provide one back before you approach them. It's as basic as this: When you catch eye contact with each other, in class or wherever, and you smile, does she smile back? Does she look away and roll her eyes? Or stare downward and look shy? This answer will give you pretty favorable odds which way it's going to go... and either boost your confidence when you ask (as others have pointed out... you need), or save you a load of embarasement...

If somehow you've yet to make this sort of connection first, that's your #1 priority... no excuses.

 

[Eagle]

After reading all these posts, I think everyone here needs to go and pickup a copy of "Hitch" with Will Smith... seriously...

I'm all in for the encouragement and I wish you the best, but I'm a little struck by the fact that you're asking a girl to the prom that you're not even sure likes you or not and you know nothing about her. Knowing whether she has a boyfriend or not would be the first indicator as to whether you know this person at all.

So, judging by the fact your asking this girl out due to her vanity, nice ass or rack, or all three, it doesn't really matter, most girls (help me out here, I know your reading this) would at least like an indicator signal and provide one back before you approach them. It's as basic as this: When you catch eye contact with each other, in class or wherever, and you smile, does she smile back? Does she look away and roll her eyes? Or stare downward and look shy? This answer will give you pretty favorable odds which way it's going to go... and either boost your confidence when you ask (as others have pointed out... you need), or save you a load of embarasement...

If somehow you've yet to make this sort of connection first, that's your #1 priority... no excuses.

I disagree. She's likely already decided if your datable material or not. So you might as well ask once as confidently as possible.

If she has a boyfriend she'll either say it or say she already has somebody to take.

Besides getting shot down is something everyone has to deal with sooner or later. If it happens let it roll off and don't give that girl a second thought.

 

[Urwumpe]

Still no reason to not get "Hitch". Regardless how things turn out, it is an excellent movie to watch, and it does not matter if two or fours eyes are watching it.

 

[simonpro]

After reading all these posts, I think everyone here needs to go and pickup a copy of "Hitch" with Will Smith... seriously...

Will Smith makes me want to kill things, starting with myself.

If somehow you've yet to make this sort of connection first, that's your #1 priority... no excuses.

I think that's a pretty dangerous thing to say, to be honest. If you're not confident or experienced in asking girls out then trying to establish a connection with them first normally means you blow your chances. The dreaded friend zone looms
In my experience it's much better just to ask them out on a date, that way you both know where you stand and as long as you pick a date that involves some interaction (i.e: not laser tag) then you can make a connection. If it works: Great! If not: Oh well, you tried.

 

[Ghostrider]

Will Smith makes me want to kill things, starting with myself.

There's also Amber Valletta in it, which makes up for some good eye candy.

 

[Kaito]

Well, I asked her.
She said she already had someone taking her. *sigh*
O well, I guess I'm going stag

 

[TSPenguin]

Since your approach has been discussed in detail, we all wish to get more detail from the actual encounter!
Please elaborate!

 

[Hielor]

Well, I asked her.
She said she already had someone taking her. *sigh*
O well, I guess I'm going stag

Sorry to hear that. How did she say it though? Was it like, "Awww I'm sorry but I'm already going with someone"? Or was it more like, "Yeah, I'm already going with someone." Tone of voice is important, there--the first one could indicate that she's interested but just can't because she already has a date, the second one could indicate that she's not interested.

Sorry man . Hey, could've been worse, you could've gotten a "With you? HAHAHAHAHA" (been there) or, my personal favorite, "I don't know."

Plus, going stag isn't a bad thing. Maybe you'll meet a she-stag there.

 

[MAraujo]

So sorry to hear it man....keep trying. My girlfriend says to ask as many girls as you can, whether you like them or not, one of them will say yes.

thats a joke, by the way

 

[Kaito]

In the beginning of math class, I asked, kinda shyishly, "Hey Julie, can I talk to you after class?"
She said, with a smile, "Sure" (an enthusiastic sure). SO, I waited nervously throughout math class, glancing over at her. After math class, I waited around, and told my friend to head on without me. When we were the only two in the class (besides the teacher), I asked her, "Hey Julie, would you want to go out on a date with me to laser tag, and possibly dinner?"
Then she said something I didn't expect: "Is this about prom?" (inquisitive tone)
"Yeah, it is."
"Oh, sorry, I'm already going with someone" (In a kinda sorry tone)
"Oh...okay."
Then she walked away. It wasn't brisk, just a casual walk.

I definitely plan on dancing with as many non-friend single girls as I possibly can. Now that I actually know a slow dance (the simple box step), I can teach it to girls while I dance with them. Act like I'm confident.
*sigh* O well.

 

[Hielor]

In the beginning of math class, I asked, kinda shyishly, "Hey Julie, can I talk to you after class?"
She said, with a smile, "Sure" (an enthusiastic sure). SO, I waited nervously throughout math class, glancing over at her. After math class, I waited around, and told my friend to head on without me. When we were the only two in the class (besides the teacher), I asked her, "Hey Julie, would you want to go out on a date with me to laser tag, and possibly dinner?"
Then she said something I didn't expect: "Is this about prom?" (inquisitive tone)
"Yeah, it is."
"Oh, sorry, I'm already going with someone" (In a kinda sorry tone)
"Oh...okay."
Then she walked away. It wasn't brisk, just a casual walk.

I definitely plan on dancing with as many non-friend single girls as I possibly can. Now that I actually know a slow dance (the simple box step), I can teach it to girls while I dance with them. Act like I'm confident.
*sigh* O well.

Several good points here:
-She stayed to hear what you had to say. Good sign--if she didn't like you at all, she wouldn't have stayed.
-She seemed interested

The ball's in her court now, though--she knows you're interested, and if she's interested in you, after prom she may ask you to do something (if the guy she's going with isn't a steady boyfriend, may just be a friend).

For future reference, also, I would avoid the word "date" when you ask a girl out. I don't know why, maybe it's just me, but I get the impression that it's better to avoid it.

 

[PhantomCruiser]

Not bad dude. :thumbup: Gotta give you props for the making the attempt. From your description of the encounter you shouldn't be too down, and a prom isn't something I'd recommend as a first date anyway. And there is NOTHING wrong with going stag. If I'd been smart I'd have done the same thing.

Give her some time and then maybe try another approach non-prom related. Something along the lines of "Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?", that's how my own relationship with my wife started. 9 words started an 18 year relationship (holy crap... 18 years!!! Wow how time flies). This was also the 3rd time I'd met this girl, so granted my sit-rep was different from yours.

If your representation of her reaction is accurate, then she doesn't seem too averse to something else later, follow up with her, but not too soon, my wife had a stalker type guy who wouldn't quit asking her out. It went from sweet and charming to creepy and disturbing in a short time.

And as far as using this type of forum to get dating advice. I just wish I had this much experience to draw from when I was your age. Seemed like everybody here offered you some good, solid advice.