Humor Random Comments Thread

[Evil_Onyx]

It would be the first time I fly international alone, and I miss the connection due to the airline. Time to brush up on my German as I wait for the new connection.

 

[Urwumpe]

It would be the first time I fly international alone, and I miss the connection due to the airline. Time to brush up on my German as I wait for the new connection.

If you sit around in Frankfurt, try Hessian. German language ends north of the Main river, the airport is south of it.

So, better start with "Guude!" instead of "Hallo!" there and get yourself a "Schöppsche" (small glass of apple wine).

 

[Evil_Onyx]

If you sit around in Frankfurt, try Hessian. German language ends north of the Main river, the airport is south of it.

So, better start with "Guude!" instead of "Hallo!" there and get yourself a "Schöppsche" (small glass of apple wine).

Thank you. My day should have been Manchester to Heathrow to Salzburg, now it's Manchester to Heathrow to Frankfurt to Salzburg. I think my attitude of not worrying about things that are out of my control (until I can do something about it) is going well today.

 

[Urwumpe]

I think my attitude of not worrying about things that are out of my control (until I can do something about it) is going well today.

A great attitude, I wish I could do that.

I need at least one therapeutic swear word every 20 minutes to stay sane in such situations.

 

[jedidia]

I need at least one therapeutic swear word every 20 minutes to stay sane in such situations.

That's very little... I think I swear more than that when I'm in a good mood
I usually don't get worked up much when travelling alone, but last summer we were supposed to travel Zurich-Vienna-Sarajevo, and ended up travelling Zurich-Vienna, spend night in Vienna, Vienna-Beograd-Sarajevo, bad weather in Sarajevo so back to Beograd, take Bus to Sarajevo to arrive at one o'clock in the morning. With two 10 year olds, one of them autistic.
Now that warranted a lot of swearing, but not half as much as trying to get our lost luggage information registered in Sarajevo... I spent more money calling that airport than I usually spend on my cellphone in 3 months or so...

 

[Arvil]

OK, you can now learn to swear in German, Hessian, Serbian, Croatian, and Bosnian.

 

[Urwumpe]

For the start:

"Zores" = chaos
"Halt die Gosch" = shut up!

Also, care for false cognates in Hessian and German: One of my biggest errors after I migrated here, "Kraan" means faucet, not crane.

 

[steph]

Well, at least it's still german. Breton, for example sounds like another language. Patois kinda sounded like a weird subtype of french, but, then again, patois is such a wide term that I couldn't possibly know what I was hearing exactly. But both seem to go, at least to the untrained ear, beyond simple accents and dialects.

 

[Urwumpe]

Well, at least it's still german. Breton, for example sounds like another language. Patois kinda sounded like a weird subtype of french, but, then again, patois is such a wide term that I couldn't possibly know what I was hearing exactly. But both seem to go, at least to the untrained ear, beyond simple accents and dialects.

Breton should be a celtic language, so Irish and Scotish people might have a better chance there.

Also, German is a VERY wide category - we even have grammatic differences between the various contemporary dialects and its much worse during the evolution of the language.

In Hessian, its "Ebbel" for apple, in lower saxon, its "Appel". Notice that the Hessian form is even closer to English phonetically. But still understandable as German, right? Now, lets go to the plural:

German: Äpfel
Bavarian: Epfa
Hessian: Ebbels
Low Saxon: Appels
English: Apples

 

[jedidia]

OK, you can now learn to swear in German, Hessian, Serbian, Croatian, and Bosnian.

I think Hessian is the only one I can't manage. Serbians, Croatians and Bosnians all swear pretty much the same way...

 

[Arvil]

Pennsylvania German
Appel, pl. Eppel

 

[Evil_Onyx]

Well that's the end of the skiing part of my holiday. At least I got down the mountain under my own steam, now to camp out in a bar. Why o why can't you get co-codamol over the counter in Austria. Alcohol will have to do.

 

[TheShuttleExperience]

I love ice cream, so I do have an ice cream spoon of course. When I lay down that spoon on the glass cover of our stove and put it into motion, it swings from left to right for an amazing 3 minutes and 45 seconds. I discovered it recently while I was washing the dishes.

It's pretty much like the Eulers Disk...

 

[jedidia]

Over the past decade, freefall has more and more developed into a humorous study of economic ethics. And it's doing an absolutely brilliant job at it.

 

[steph]

Speaking of linguistic differences....a few years back, I was driving home one summer evening, when I stumble upon a car going wrong way on a narrow one way street. I flash the lights, honk shortly, he doesn't seem to realise he's on a wrong way street. So, I sort of try to maneuver to let him pass, I realise he's almost certainly a tourist (big luggage rack etc), so I open the window and just tell him in English it's a one-way street and he should turn around or something. He looks at me a bit confused, not sure he understood, and goes 'Scheize?' Tired old me thinks he's asking if he did some s**t or something . So, I go 'nein , nicht scheize, oder verboten', not realising that it should have been aber, then I tell him in English I could go around the adjacent roundabout and put the four-way lights on so he could reverse out, gesturing in that direction so he understands ( he basically had zero visibility if he tried it on his own). So, he looks back, gestures towards the roundabout and goes 'Scheize?' again. I'm like 'no, but there will be scheize if you keep going the way you're headed'. He goes 'Danke', and wants to drive off . I honk again and tell him simply it's 'not ok', he looks at me dumbfounded, then he shows me a leaflet. He was looking for a campîng near the town of La Chaize . Though I'm not sure he was german, or else he would have been more communicative in that language

 

[jedidia]

That reminds me of the time I was new to the balkans and got a bit lost, and tried to figure out with my Bosnian passengers where we were. In my opinion, we were right in front of a certain turn visible on the map, only I didn't know the word for a turn. Since I had already realised that, especially when it came to cars, there's plenty of german words in bosnian, I figured I might just try the german term, probably somebody would understand. The german word just happens to be "Kurve".

So what came out of my mouth would approximately translate to: "Do you see that who** up there? I'm sure it's this who** right here on the map...". And of course, because everybody was looking at me in a mix of shock and confusion, I had to repeat and elaborate a couple of times just how exactly I thought about that who**...

Also, a colleague of mine once excused himself from company by saying "I need to go home into my wife". After realising that there was something wrong with that sentence by the hearty laughter of his friends, he corrected himself: "Ah, wait, no, I need to go home onto my wife... right?"
Languages are hysterical...

 

[Evil_Onyx]

Todays linguistic trouble. In Austria in a taxi, on the way to the airport, trying to make small talk to a Norwegian woman in broken German as her English was worse than my German. I think English was her 4th or 5th language.

 

[Notebook]

As always, English the global language, for obvious reasons....

 

[N_Molson]

Speaking of linguistic differences....a few years back, I was driving home one summer evening, when I stumble upon a car going wrong way on a narrow one way street. I flash the lights, honk shortly, he doesn't seem to realise he's on a wrong way street. So, I sort of try to maneuver to let him pass, I realise he's almost certainly a tourist (big luggage rack etc), so I open the window and just tell him in English it's a one-way street and he should turn around or something. He looks at me a bit confused, not sure he understood, and goes 'Scheize?' Tired old me thinks he's asking if he did some s**t or something . So, I go 'nein , nicht scheize, oder verboten', not realising that it should have been aber, then I tell him in English I could go around the adjacent roundabout and put the four-way lights on so he could reverse out, gesturing in that direction so he understands ( he basically had zero visibility if he tried it on his own). So, he looks back, gestures towards the roundabout and goes 'Scheize?' again. I'm like 'no, but there will be scheize if you keep going the way you're headed'. He goes 'Danke', and wants to drive off . I honk again and tell him simply it's 'not ok', he looks at me dumbfounded, then he shows me a leaflet. He was looking for a campîng near the town of La Chaize . Though I'm not sure he was german, or else he would have been more communicative in that language

True, we have quite a lot of German or Nederlands tourists in the region. The Côte d'Azur is a bit too hot for them I don't blame them, +40°C for a week or more in Summer is now a common thing in the South-East.

 

[babay4]

hello this is the second test message