Humor Random Comments Thread

[Andy44]

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

(Just watching this from inside the Volkswagen network... I hope the inquisitors have humor :lol: )

This is Germany we're talking about here, right? Of course they have humor...that's where Funny Bot was invented.

 

[Fabri91]

A bit of randomness:

These are made of the same liner material as used in ESA's Vega small launcher's first stage.

Yesterday I visited the small Agusta museum in Samarate, near Milan Malpensa Airport.

From right to left: A129 Mangusta, two variants of A109 and A105.

Finally, the first iteration o a quadcopter I assembled, which today managed to do its first (and remarkably non-prop-splitting) first flights.

@Urwumpe: well, congratulations on the (second?) mini-wumpe!

 

[Urwumpe]

@Urwumpe: well, congratulations on the (second?) mini-wumpe!

К чёрту!Just let him arrive first. :lol:

Its our first son, which is already cause of many very nasty comments by our daughter, which ordered a girl...

 

[Artlav]

К чёрту!

Huh? What made you say so?
It is appropriate to the comment, but somewhat unexpected.

 

[Urwumpe]

Huh? What made you say so?
It is appropriate to the comment, but somewhat unexpected.

Well, I just remembered this being customary at Soyuz launches because it brings bad luck if you forget it. :lol:

 

[Loru]

*Following post/rant is not aimed at any of board members. Just need to vent some steam.

It might however be helpfull if you need to order some printing works in the future.

Dear "pro graphic designers" and other customers.

1. Exporting your project to PDF doesn't mean it's automatically ready for large scale printing and cutting. Flatten all your transparencies and effects into bitmap, convert text to vectors or bitmap (600dpi) and leave only vector data you really need (cutting outline). 2000 curves for single sticker is OK. 2000 curves for single sticker, in case you're printing 5000 of them on 2 square meters is definitelly not ok and can choke even most powerfull workstations.

2. No PANTONE or custom color profiles in digital print (laser/solvent/latex). Nobody will create custom profile for printer unless your order is big. Like really big. Use industry standards like CMYK, US Coated or Fogra 27.

3. No. I won't match your project to your desk inkjet "proof" printed on replacement cartridges, or for that matter to prints from other company.

4. Bleed, bleed and one more bleed. 3mm or you'll get white edges or smaller product. No more and no less since even in manual trimming, companies have already 3mm markers on their cutting tools.

5. Spellcheck is your side unless we're designing project for you. I have no way of knowing if this is error or part of your "clever marketing strategy".

6. No! I won't put your poster on PCV/Foam/Di-bond unless I've printed it or have file to print it again if something goes wrong. Same goes for applying protective laminates or encapsulating it.

7. Cutting plotters have limited accuracy. For each meter it's ~0.5mm. Do not expect 5 meter cutout to be accurate to 0.1 mm.

8. All prints except laser ones have to dry. More ink = longer drying time. That means your deep black (250% ink on the film) glossy sticker will be ready in 12 hours, not in an hour.

9. If you're ordering sticker for a car, make sure to order protection for it. Typical solvent or latex print will wear off in nearest car wash unless laminated and you'll end up with beautifull white shape on your car.

Hopefully this might be helpfull for anyone. If you have questions feel free to poke me via PM.

 

[jedidia]

6. No! I won't put your poster on PCV/Foam/Di-bond unless I've printed it or have file to print it again if something goes wrong. Same goes for applying protective laminates or encapsulating it.

He, that reminds me of the time my wife insisted on laminating my 2-month bus ticket for protection. Turned out swiss tickets are thermo-printed :lol:

 

[Evil_Onyx]

Is it bad that one tire is smoking and the others aren't? A trip to the garage tomorrow for my car it is then.

 

[Linguofreak]

I was in the first semi-serious car wreck of my life today (as a passenger). That isn't really saying much: I'd only been in fender-benders so far, but we got rear-ended on the highway with probably about 20 mph delta V between the two vehicles. Fortunately, I have no obvious injuries, though I think I may be sore in the morning. The other guy got punched in the gut by his airbag. The entrance ramp we were near tends to be a trouble spot, and the same slow-down that got us produced a much more serious accident about 500 feet ahead of us just a few minutes later.

 

[Andy44]

I was in the first semi-serious car wreck of my life today (as a passenger). That isn't really saying much: I'd only been in fender-benders so far, but we got rear-ended on the highway with probably about 20 mph delta V between the two vehicles. Fortunately, I have no obvious injuries, though I think I may be sore in the morning. The other guy got punched in the gut by his airbag. The entrance ramp we were near tends to be a trouble spot, and the same slow-down that got us produced a much more serious accident about 500 feet ahead of us just a few minutes later.

I've been in several fender benders and at least two nasty wrecks.

The first one I was a passenger in an old Pontiac Sunbird, early 80s IIRC, and a woman in a big car pulled out in front of us and we T-boned her. No airbag but my seat was reclined and the seatbelt worked so no injuries. I vividly remember seeing that woman's face, her glasses, and her mouth like an "O" as realized what was about to happen; I tried to put my hand up reflexively to brace for impact, and then seeing the hood buckle up in front of me as we spun around 180 degrees and slid to a stop.

The second accident was my freshman year in college when I was driving my beloved Volkswagen Sirocco home on a rainy day, and as I slowed down to make a left turn I got blasted from behind, never saw it coming. I had waved a car in front of me before turning since he was already blocking the intersection. Last thing I remember before impact was Black Sabbath was playing on my radio and I was looking at the dial when BAMMM!!!

Strangely I was looking up at those little holes in the headliner common to VWs, with strange sliding noises and a racing engine nearby, and then another bump as I hit the car in front of me. The racing engine belonged to the woman who had hit me; her throttle got stuck open from the damage, and then she cut the ignition. She had hit me so hard that my seat back had broken and I was laying on the back seat. I sat back up and immediately noticed that the Blaupunkt radio was missing; it had popped out of the instrument panel and was laying on the floor. It dawned on me that I had been in a serious accident and suddenly I had a strong desire to get out.

The girl practically ripped the door open to get me out; she was a bit worried she may have really injured me. I was okay, but my poor car had given its life to save me. The rear bumper was caved in with a 90 degree bend in it, the rear deck had frisbee'd across the street with my Pioneer speakers on it, the rear tires were squished by the fenders of the bent car body, and there was a gasoline leak (hence my instinct to GET OUT).

I woke up the next day with whiplash and my neck was kind of sore for a couple of days. I still miss that car.

 

[Linguofreak]

We weren't hit that badly, enough to set off the airbag of the guy that hit us and cause easily visible damage to both vehicles, but both were still drivable.

The wreck that happened downstream of us just afterward looked fairly nasty, though. Impact delta-v was probably fortyish, and I think there may have been multiple cars involved. Two were squished together pretty tight when we drive by afterwards.

I really miss my old Geo Prizm. It didn't die in a wreck, just came in with a maintenance bill that was well beyond its value. And unfortunately, I didn't have the money to replace it with a suitably newer Prizm/Corolla: people have figured out that they're cheap little tanks, so they've become correspondingly less cheap. I replaced it with a super-low mileage (for its age) Chevy Lumina. I don't anticipate it will last me 10 years like the Geo did, but it seems to be decent enough.

 

[Artlav]

Once upon a time when i was 12 and stupid, i was riding a bicycle down the road and saw a big puddle ahead. I could hear a car coming behind me, so i waited for it to pass, then went around the puddle.

You see, i assumed there was only one car.

The realization that i screwed up came with the screeching of the brakes behind, followed by rapid acceleration, futile attempts to hold on to the bike and getting airborne, and finished with a "well, crap" feeling on impact with the pavement as i slided to a stop.

Fortunately, i ended up with just a minor concussion and missing a bunch of skin on my back.

 

[Urwumpe]

Just one hour left before we are departing for the hospital. I am just the "very important fan" now, but still, pulse rate goes up a bit.

 

[jedidia]

Just one hour left before we are departing for the hospital. I am just the "very important fan" now, but still, pulse rate goes up a bit.

Well, at least you're on schedule. Our boys spontaneously decided to drop in 2 months early, so things were a bit chaotic... :lol:
Anywas, best of luck. I hope all goes well.

 

[RisingFury]

Once upon a time when i was 12 and stupid, i was riding a bicycle down the road and saw a big puddle ahead. I could hear a car coming behind me, so i waited for it to pass, then went around the puddle.

You see, i assumed there was only one car.

The realization that i screwed up came with the screeching of the brakes behind, followed by rapid acceleration, futile attempts to hold on to the bike and getting airborne, and finished with a "well, crap" feeling on impact with the pavement as i slided to a stop.

Fortunately, i ended up with just a minor concussion and missing a bunch of skin on my back.

I feel like this is a setup for one of the "In Soviet Russia..." jokes

 

[Linguofreak]

Once upon a time when i was 12 and stupid, i was riding a bicycle down the road and saw a big puddle ahead. I could hear a car coming behind me, so i waited for it to pass, then went around the puddle.

You see, i assumed there was only one car.

The realization that i screwed up came with the screeching of the brakes behind, followed by rapid acceleration, futile attempts to hold on to the bike and getting airborne, and finished with a "well, crap" feeling on impact with the pavement as i slided to a stop.

Fortunately, i ended up with just a minor concussion and missing a bunch of skin on my back.

I did something similar around age 10 or 11. I was walking down a road (two lane, not busy, no sidewalk, so we were walking down the middle of the road) with a group of people, and heard tire noise from a car behind us, so I ran over to the shoulder to let it pass. Problem was, it wasn't a car, it was a bike, so it was closer than I'd assumed from the tire noise, and the biker had decided to pass between our group and the shoulder. So I ended up running right in front of him. Next thing I know, something hits my ankle (his front tire), and I do this nice little somersault, and wind up lying on my back on the grass by the side of the road. I ended up with a nasty scab all down the outside of my right ankle where he clipped me.

For me the feeling wasn't so much "well, crap" as "wait... what?"

---------- Post added at 15:42 ---------- Previous post was at 15:40 ----------

I feel like this is a setup for one of the "In Soviet Russia..." jokes

Well, from my story combined with his:

"In Soviet Russia, you hit bike. In America, bike hits you!"

 

[n122vu]

My first major accident was also as a passenger in a Pontiac Sunbird (1986 model, I believe). It was the early 90's, Fall of 92 or so I think, I was 17. It was Friday night. We had just left the local McDonald's and were headed one county over to meet each other at the bowling alley. We'd gone about a block, and my friend was looking for a rap tape in his console, didn't see the car in front of him stopped to turn left into a driveway until it was just a bit too late (a 1980 Sunbird, ironically). He tried to swerve around her to the right, but clipped her right rear bumper with about 8 inches of his left front. Enough of an impact to total both cars.

My second serious accident involved getting rear-ended while driving my 1993 Chevy S10 with Tahoe Trim package, Camaro rims, and white letter tires (I loved this truck). I was stopped in traffic that was sitting still due to another car suddenly turning left with no room to go around on the right. The turning car was about 3 vehicles ahead of me I'd been stationary for about 10 seconds. The vehicle behind me was a 1989 Ford Bronco that didn't see any of us stopped, ironically because he was looking down to put a tape in his cassette player. He estimated he was going about 55 when he hit me. My truck ended up in a V-shape. Thankfully, the gas tank did not rupture, which was common for that body style of S10, in which the tank was right behind the cab of the truck. Such impacts typically resulted in explosive outcomes. However, he did hit me with such force that my head went up and over the headrest, and impacted the left rear window pane of the cab, shattering it. Quite a feat since, with my 5'4" stature, I had the seat most of the way forward, leaving about 8 inches from the back of the headrest to the glass. I had a horrible case of whiplash that lasted months.

 

[Andy44]

I've been in several fender benders and at least two nasty wrecks.

The first one I was a passenger in an old Pontiac Sunbird,

My first major accident was also as a passenger in a Pontiac Sunbird (1986 model, I believe). It was the early 90's, Fall of 92 or so I think, I was 17. It was Friday night. We had just left the local McDonald's and were headed one county over to meet each other at the bowling alley. We'd gone about a block, and my friend was looking for a rap tape in his console, didn't see the car in front of him stopped to turn left into a driveway until it was just a bit too late (a 1980 Sunbird, ironically).

Ok, now what the heck is going on with Pontiac Sunbirds?!

Was that model actually more cursed than the Ford Pinto? :lol:

 

[jedidia]

Me and the WIfe are rewatching Babylon 5. It's the only show I have on DVD. It feels like handling ancient technology.

 

[Loru]